I seem to have nothing to blog about these days. I guess I live a boring life. The last two weeks I have spent lying around cause my IC has flared-up once again. It always shows up after the holidays are done and over with. Must have something to do with the level of stress. Anyways, Christmas dinner turned out well. There were crockpots of food in every corner plugged into the walls. The Turkey decided to be a bit late and dinner was at 7pm  instead of 6. No big deal. The clean up went well. Thanks to Lucy and Bert  and Mom for staying behind to help.

Colby was the only one that didn’t show up. Though, I some how knew he wouldn’t. I hope I see him soon. This June will be 2 years since I seen my boy. I miss him so much.If I had the money I would drive up and stay in town for a weekend with him. Just the 2 of us hanging out. Maybe this summer?

So… where will this year take me? Honestly…I have no clue. Some days I wish I could do so much. Then reality hits me. I can’t do the things I want. I basically just breath through my days. Hoping to not be sick. Those days that I am sick, I hope for the pain to leave me and let me just breath. Breathing is better than pain. I guess I should be thankful that I am able to breath on my own. I just feel that there is so much more that I could be doing with my life.

Looking at my options…. Work…no can do. I’m not able to work due to my Dizziness and my IC. Both impair me for days, weeks and even months at a time. I could do volunteer work, but it’s not what I really feel like doing. School is out too. I dont think I could ever sit in a class room again. Doing home schooling is a joke to me. I would never get it finished.

So what’s left? Not sure.

There was a time when my life was a lot simpler and I used to do animal rescue work. It was rewarding and fulfilling. Now I know I can’t really do that in my condo, but I would if i had a house. I spent 3 years doing it and rescued many cats and dogs and even a few birds. That was such a long time ago. But it was something that made me feel like I made a difference. When I finally stopped the rescue work I moved on to get my Dog trainers certificate. I finished the course but I was never given my papers. The guy just up and vanished. I then took a dog groomers course which I never finished. I was 2 weeks away from done when my life turned upside down.

20 years later and I still don’t know what to do with my life. I have a feeling my true calling is close. There is something inside me that keeps nagging me. I don’t know what it is exactly. It’s been there in the back ground for a very long time. Just wish I could figure out what it is. Until then I guess I just keep breathing.

Posted in: day to day.
Last Modified: January 13, 2010

3 comments on “What’s Next?

  1. an old friend

    I am so glad to hear that you are living the good life. All that IC stuff sounds nasty. I thought it was pretty cool that you managed to get things right with your Dad. I am positive you made him smile! I enjoyed seeing all the photos. What ever happened to Ewald??
    Gregg seems to be well grounded. I can see it in your smile that you have finally found what you have been looking for. It might have been a long journey and a slippery slope. I can relate. But, you have it made. Yikes! I would never have guessed Berto and Lucy? Allot of years have passed. Keep smilin’. I was wondering if I am the list for a letter. (Bucket List?)
    Believe in HIM.
    An old friend

    1. purpledragonfly Post author

      Interesting… I am very curious to know who you are. You seem to know people that I know. I think if you want to know more about Ewald or anyone else, you need to email my direct. Might be good to conect with an old friend again.

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