You can see by my blog that I am changing my theme again. I get bored looking at the same theme all the time. So it was time to change it up again!
What other changes? Well, Gregg and I are doing Weight Watchers at home and it’s working for him, but it seems that it’s not doing much for me. I’m just sitting at the same weight. I’m going to keep feeding Gregg the same, but I am changing my menu a bit. No more wheat, a bit less fruit, more meat and veggie. Sort of lowcarb/paleo eating. I know I can’t eat wheat product, but I love bread. I have bought a wheat free baking mix and will see how that works for me. Going to spend some time trying out new recipes this week.
What else has changed? Hmmm…. Not much I guess. I finally got my MRI date for Dec.6th. Yeah it’s a long wait. I see my Doctor this week and will ask him if he thinks that’s too long. If so, then he needs to push me through some how. Oh wait, have I explained why I need the MRI? I don’t think I have. Well I’ll make it a short story. Basically I got worried about my breasts leaking at the beginning of the year, asked the Doctor about it and he sent me to have a mammogram done, did that. Then they wanted to an ultrasound, did that. Both were clear and clean, come back in a year they said. I then had a CT scan of my head and it showed a tiny lump(tumour) on my Pituitary gland and some swelling. Doctor thinks that this is why I was having the leakage and the reason why my eyesight is getting worse. The swelling is pushing on my optical nerve. I am seeing an eye specialist in 2 weeks. Doctor then told me he needs an MRI to decide what the next step is. So, now I just wait.
When I heard the word tumour, I really didn’t listen. I let the word in and out. The first thing a person thinks of is cancer. The good thing is that it’s not cancer. All my blood tests have come back negative for cancer. That does help relax me a bit. Tho, I guess all these months have just been too much on me. After the Doctor told me the result of my CT scan, he asked me if I was depressed. I wanted to say no, but since my Mom was in the room with me, she said it first. She didn’t know. But the Doctor could see it. He asked some questions and had me fill out some forms that asked a lot more questions. Then he prescribed some antidepressants. I don’t like to admit that I am depressed, but I knew I was and had been for a while. I knew it already back at Christmas time. I thought I could handle it on my own. I’ve been taking them for a month now and I am feeling a bit better. Not so tired, sad and hopeless. I don’t know how long it will take for me to get back to being happy. I sure want to be there again.
I realize that I have been sick for so many years that trying to remember the last pain free day is almost impossible. When I think about it, being in Playa del Carmen comes to mind. When we were there in 2007 for 3 week, by the second week I had stopped taking all my meds and pain killers. I was pain free! I felt so good. When we got home, it didn’t take long, a few days and I was taking pills again to deal with everything. Since then it just seems that my health has been going down hill.
I have hope that I will get better. I just need some help getting there. If that means I need to take antidepressants, then so be it. I just want to be normal again. To live without pain is asking too much, I know, but as least a bit less pain and sickness would be great.
Well, this post turned out a bit different from what I had planned, LOL.