Every day I wake up and wonder what my day will be. Some days I just want to sleep and not deal with it. Every day, as I sit on the edge of my bed, my first thought is ” Good morning Baby George. (my Tumour, yes he has a name).” He is still with me. I wish he wasn’t, but he is there and isn’t going anywhere soon.
December 6th is the day I go for my MRI to find out what will happen next. Until then I have to wait. Wait, wait and wait. There is truly nothing worse than having to wait to find out what will happen. The thoughts that go through my head daily are capable of driving me insane. Did George grow? Will I have surgery? Kemo? Or will it be so small I will just need some meds for a few months? Who knows!? It’s exhausting to think about.
So, what does one do when you know that there is a possibility of a huge life change on the way? …… you laugh. Laugh as much as you can. Laugh when where you get the chance. When you know it’s funny, just let it out, a big gut busting giggle. Why laugh? Cause life is funny! You never know what life will throw at you. So laugh at it! Go ahead! I know that if I don’t laugh, I’ll go down the drain of depression.
Find things to do that you have always wanted to, but were afraid that people would think you are crazy. Just do it. It doesn’t matter what others think! I have realized that it really doesn’t matter what people think of me. I don’t really care if you think I am nits or if you don’ t like me. As long as I am laughing and there is a smile on my face, THAT is what matters to me.
So, there you have it. That is what I have been thinking. Do I care what you think? Not really! LOL Why? Well my life is worth more that wasting it on small shit like thinking about what you think of me. hahahaha!
Amazing how my way of thinking has changed. What’s important? ME.
If this post offends you, I’m sorry. This is how I feel right at this moment. Deal with it. 😛