Been a while since I posted. Please bear with me. This is hard to put into words.

This is to you Oskar,

I am losing my cousin, my friend. You have been in my life from the day you were born. You may be a year younger than me, but it never made a difference. We are best buds. We were suppose to get old together, watch our grand kids play together. Sitting in rocking chairs, drinking beer, laughing at all the fun we had. Do you remember it all? The swimming pool…LOL.How about the Fraser St Theater? All that crazy shit we went through. Both of us having kids so young. We messed up a lot in our lives. It didn’t matter how long we hadn’t talked, it was always like coming home again. A comfortable place to hang  your hat, kick off your shoes, flop on the couch and ask “what’s for dinner?” We never fought. We always got along. We understood each other. We shared our Moms. We had over nighters.Your place, my place. When you moved to Merritt I cried for days. Do you still have the letters? I know I do.

When I think about the stupid questions people will ask, You know the ones. “what was his favourite colour?” I think about that and answer, Jeans! LOL, yeah that is your colour. What was he like? I can never explain to people who you are. You are unique, just like me. What was his favourite music? LOL… KISS!, Heart. Hahaha! I remember you blaring it in your car and I hated it.Never was a KISS fan. Throw on some Bob Seger or AC/DC and I was hooked.

Why do you have to go?Why?? You and I are supposed to grow old!! I am trying to remember all the shit we did, but I am blank. nothing is coming to me. All I keep thinking is how unfair this is. How much I will miss you. You are too young to go!

Selfish, but I can’t let you will always be deep inside my heart. I will never forget you and our time together. You were and always will be my soul mate. We were one in the same.

These last 2 days that I had with you were hard but I am so thankful that you made me promise to not leave you alone. I was with you. You woke up one last time for me. Our eyes met and you nodded, grabbed my hand and held on. I told you I love you and you’re not alone. Thank you for that last moment together.I will never forget it.


Posted in: day to day.
Last Modified: April 15, 2015

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