Vegan Christmas!

Alright, I want to clear this up. I don’t eat wheat. Actually I try to stay away from all grains. This has nothing to do with gluten-free. I will eat gluten. I just don’t eat grains. I have been tested by a real allergists (not by a friend of a friend that thinks I should eat gluten-free because my tummy hurt from eating too many christmas cookies) and the results said that I am allergic to wheat. All types of wheat as I have discovered over the last few years.

There is a big difference between wheat free and gluten-free. Any type of “wheat” causes pain for me. What type of pain?.Well think of being doubled over with breath taking pain that makes you scared to take a breath. The pain of gas building up and trying to move its way through your intestines. Getting all sweaty and dizzy. Wishing you could die instead of having to go through it.Yeah I think you get what I am saying. Then top it off with Montezuma’s revenge. Nice way to spend the day. But wait! There’s more! You get another day of dull tender aches in the intestinal areas of your body. Yes it’s just so much fun! Not.,

I instead use nut flours. I can’t eat the “gluten-free bake mixes” There are grains in them. Spelt, millet, sprouted wheat, ancient grains. Doesnt matter, they all hurt. I can’t even do bean flours, which you do find in many of the gluten-free mixes. I also don’t eat rice flour or potato. I could, but it’s my choice to leave them out since I eat Low Carb.

What does this all have to do with a Vegan Christmas? My oldest boy Matt, and his wife are now vegans. Have been for over a year. Why they decided on this, I’m not really sure. Any ways, I am having over for dinner on Christmas Eve. I had to find something they would eat. Well let me tell you, it wasnt easy to find food they could eat. Sure it sounds simple but it’s not. I searched across the vast land of Google to find something tasty to make for them but also something we could eat. Simple, veggies! LOL, not really!

A vegan doesn’t eat any type of animal product. Not able to use any dairy, eggs, and such really made it a challenge for me. Since we eat a lot of butter, cream, cheeses cause of our low carb diet. Which includes meat. After many texts messages with Matt I have finally figured out what to make for dinner. I just hope it will be tasty. Definitely not the traditional Christmas dinner!

So now I am curious what is the difference between vegan and vegetarian?   I will need to travel across the land of Google to find my answers.

Found it!…Sort Of

Gregg took me to Potters last weekend and I added a new snowman to my snow people collection. My collection is getting big. I think i might have to stop soon. But I just love my snow people and when I see the right one, I just have to bring him/her home. So, I have sort of found the Christmas spirit.  I wrapped all the gifts this morning and had Christmas music playing. I tried really hard to get in the spirit. I was there, but not completely. I just don’t know why I am having such a hard time with finding it this year.

Maybe it is the missing of the tree? Or, is it that we are not really doing much this year? We have our family dinner at my brother’s place on the 25th this year. Other than that, I don’t think we are doing much. We plan to go to dinner at a restaurant on Christmas eve with half the family and then will come back here with Matt and Bree to open our gifts while the rest of the family goes to Church. Its the only time I will see them. Colby will be up in Kamloops for Christmas with his Dad. Boxing day i will be cooking a turkey for Gregg and me. Possibly Glen will be here and a friend or two.

Yup, going to be a quiet one this year. Snow would really help me get in the Christmas mood. Maybe I need to bake some cookies?

Christmas Spirit

For the last 2 weeks I have been laid up. I Had started with the Christmas decorations and half way thru I tripped over Duncan. Twisting and landing on my hip so hard that I pulled a muscle. Oh the pain! It was so bad I had to use a cane to walk. After a week of doing absolutely nothing I was finally able to move around and put the cane away. Just as I am starting to feel better, Gregg decides to gift me with his cold. Back to bed I went. I am still sick, my voice sounds like a mouse going thru puberty. My sinuses are a mess, they cant decide whether to clog or drip. I think I have coughed up my lungs and put them back in about a dozen times. Everybody say it with me “thanks Gregg”.

So, it seems my Christmas spirit is no where to be found as of yet. I thought I had found it in a box of old decorations but then it vanished. I even went to some Christmas fairs and still nothing. I am starting to wonder if I will find it this year. I didnt put up the big tree, instead I went with the pink 3 footer. I like it, but I think Gregg is a bit ify on it. I just didnt feel like going thru the hassle of putting it up. Right there, that should tell you that my Christmas spirit is missing.

I was suppose to go out today with my mom and sisters to a Christmas store called Potters then this evening Gregg;s work Christmas party. Had to cancel both. I was hoping that going to Potters I might have found my Christmas spirit there, but not now. I’m really not sure where to look. I have asked all my snow people and they all give me a blank look and say nothing. Duncan has checked his bed numerous times and tho he keeps going back and digging, he still comes up empty.

Maybe I need to make a trip to the Mall? Could it be there? I have yet to do any shopping. To be honest, I dont even have it in me to buy gifts this year. I dont know what to buy for people. I think gift cards is what everyone will be getting from me. Yes, impersonal, but hey, better than nothing.

I think if it snowed it would feel more Christmasy to me.

*sigh*

I think this cold and all the pain I have been enduring for the last few years is finally taking a toll on me. Or maybe I am just having a pity party for myself.

When I am feeling like this, numb and emotionally drained, afraid to take one more step cause that one might actually be the step that rips the screams out of my mind. If I let go of that control, I dont think I would stop crying for months. Instead, I turn to music. It is my healer.( Even listening to Christmas music, I still cant catch the spirit)

I have depended on music to get me thru my tough times. Tonight I will lean on it again. As I sit here and listen to the beautiful voice on Annie Lennox (yes I like her) I realize that I know why the Christmas spirit has not shown itself to me. I am missing someone very special.

“Little Bird”
I look up to the little bird
That glides across the sky
He sings the clearest melody
It makes me want to cry
It makes me want to sit right down
and cry cry cry
I walk along the city streets
So dark with rage and fear
And I…
I wish that I could be that bird
And fly away from here
I wish I had the wings to fly away from here
But my my I feel so low
My my where do I go ?
My my what do I know ?
My my we reap what we sow
They always said that you knew best
But this little bird’s fallen out of that nest now
I’ve got a feeling that it might have been blessed
So I’ve just got to put these wings to test
For I am just a troubled soul
Who’s weighted…
Weighted to the ground
Give me the strength to carry on
Till I can lay this burden down
Give me the strength to lay this burden down down down yeah
Give me the strength to lay it down
But my my I feel so low
My my where do I go ?
My my what do I know ?
My my we reap what we sow
They always said that you knew best
But this little bird’s fallen out of that nest now
I’ve got a feeling that it might have been blessed
So I’ve just got to put these wings to test
Annie Lennox