On to other news…

The low carb (LC) diet is starting to work! The first 2 weeks were a bit slow, but now we are into it and enjoying the food. It was a bit hard to let go of all the bread and pastas. Our main foods are meat, veggies and eggs. I am down to 149lbs. I know its only 3lbs but that’s a lot for me since I dont have much to loose. Not sure what Gregg has lost since he wont weigh in

Now, last night I went through some stuff and I found some more Gordon clan stuff. Will it ever end? LOL I think this is the last of it, but I’m not sure! I’m still looking for all of the slides from Gregg’s dad. I know they are here! Anyways, I have the family bible. It’s old! 1893. WOW!

This was the topper. Births, marriages, and deaths. There are wills too.

I have to thank Gregg’s Aunt Jesse for saving all of this information. She went to great lengths to find it all. This is only the tip of the iceberg! I have boxes of papers. My only problem is, who to give it to next?

I am not blogging as much as I should. I have really not been in the mood to blog. Plus, what should I blog about??

Christmas? ok, let’s chat about it. It’s changing. Every year it seems that its different. As a kid it was always the same. We would get ready and go to church on Christmas eve, then drive over to my grandparents house. We would get to see my Dad’s family. After that we would head home. Where we would have something to eat and then open gifts. that changed as we got older and we opened gifts on Christmas day.

Since my sister got married, we have been switching the 25th and the 26th for our family dinner. It worked well so that my sister could see her husbands family too. As we have all gotten married and have kids we have kept this arrangement. Last year I had the family here for the 26th. I moved it to 27th so that my boys could both be here and same with any other family members. This year we are all heading to my brothers place on the 25th. The year after that we go to the next brother in line on the 26th. and so on. We each take a turn having the family over so that Mom doesnt have to do the work anymore.

For the past 20 years we have been doing a family dinner with my Mom’s side of the family. My sister has always been the one to make the phone calls and send the emails and make sure everyone knows when its happening. Last year we almost canceled it, and this year we did. Why? well, seems that family is no big deal some people. My sister sent out an email asking people to let her know who was coming and only a handful responded. I told her its enough, cancel it. It’s sad that the family cant even get together once a year. This dinner was the only day in the year where I got to see relatives I dont see any other time. Unless there is a funeral or a wedding. Maybe the few that still want to do the dinner can still get together at someone’s house every year. As for the big family dinners, they are over. Sad, anyways…

I have been thinking of doing a Christmas party. I haven’t had one in about 14 years. I think it’s about time to do it again. I first thought I would do just cousins, but now I think I’ll invite others too. I also have to figure out a date. Most people already have plans on all the Saturdays in December. So I might have to pick a Friday. Unless I do it in between Christmas and new years eve. Hmmmm…

I’m also trying to decide when I should decorate. I usually wait till December 1st. Gregg likes to wait till The 11th. I guess I’ll wait for now. At least until after this weekend. We are going to the Christmas show at the Tradex Center on Saturday. So I might get some new decorating ideas. I’m also now sure if I want to set up the big tree or the small one this year.

If my back doesnt get better soon, I wont be do any decorating. And what about baking? Do I do a bunch of Christmas baking this year? Am I just doing it for me and Gregg? Sometimes I wonder why I bother. huh oh, this is sounding like the “bah hum bug” attitude coming out. Better stop that right now!

I could say so much more about her, but I think I would just like to tell you what I remember. She was my friend more than just my aunt.  She loved me like a daughter. She never held back telling me what she thought. If I did something wrong she made sure to tell me. She helped me when I needed relationship advice. I guess we both had some bumpy roads to travel.

When I was 11 years old, she gave me my first perm. My blond hair turned orange…lol. It’s funny now, but back then it was the end of the world for me. She did try to fix it. Over the years, we all moved here and there and sometimes it seemed that there were too many miles between us. Then a holiday or a special event would gather us all together again, even if it was only for a day. About 15 years ago everyone started to move closer to each other. My mom, and her sister Susi and Anny all lived in walking distance to one another. Every Tuesday we all knew it was “sister’s day”. The 3 of them would go do some food shopping then have lunch and after head to the Mall and convince my Mom that she looked good in everything and that she needed to buy it all…lol Sometimes my sister and I would join them for lunch and shopping. But mostly, it was their day. It was the 3 sisters.

I remember when she first got sick. She survived breast cancer and had dealt with a heart condition most of her life. Then she was injured by a chiropractor, he damaged her neck and balance center. Then a car accident made things worse and finally colon cancer. I know there were other health problems, but I cant think of them at the moment. She had some hard times.

I will miss her. I will miss her at our ladies luncheons and our shopping Mall trips. I will miss her hooking her arm into mine and saying “come, let’s be dizzy”. We understood how it felt in our heads. Both of us suffering the same type of neck injury. It was something that we shared and no one else could. It bonded us closer. Strange how an injury can do that. I will miss sharing that “knowing” look when one of us was dizzy. I could see it in her eyes and she could see it in mine. She would hug me and not need to say anything, she felt my pain as much as I felt hers.

I will miss her laughing at all the silly things we did. We were always the 2 that acted a bit crazy. She was the rebel in her family and I was the one in mine. When it came to religion, we both knew what we wanted. She understood the day I told my Mom that I was not a Mennonite. Secretly she  said “you go girl”, something I will truly miss hearing her say to me.

Now it will be only the 2 sisters on Tuesdays. There will be an empty spot at our ladies luncheons. My dizzy friend is gone. That beautiful big smile will be missed by so many.

I hope that where ever you are now, you are free of all you pain and suffering. Give my Dad a hug, get in the boat and go fishing.

So, this is what is making me partly sick. My aunt is in the hospice nearing the end of her battle with colon cancer. I dont know how much long she will hang on. She is a stubborn woman…lol. She wont let go without a fight. I will miss her so much.

Then there is my mom. This is what is so hard to deal with. A few months ago she started having bad headaches. One morning she woke up and her sight was half gone. Over the next couple months it got worse. If I had to guess, I think she has lost about 70% of her sight. She has seen Doctors and had some tests done. They have told her that she has a brain aneurysm and its pushing against her optical nerves. Doctor was surprised that she is still alive. She needs to have another test done to find out if they can do surgery to fix it. If they can do the surgery, she probably wont get her vision back, it could get worse. She could also have a stroke during the surgery. As we all wait for her next appointment, we know she is on borrowed time and that at any given time she can be gone.

So here I sit. Frustrated, angry, sad and tear-less. People are telling me I need to cry. That if I cry I will feel better and be able to handle it. I have tried, but the tears dont come. Maybe I am too angry? Maybe I’m not ready to say goodbye? It’s not fair! Why did this have to happen to mom? and my aunt?

I wish there was someone to blame. Would that help? Probably not.

All I can do is block how I feel and just wake up every morning hoping that mom made it thru the night. I think what really bothers me is that I cant see her when I want. I have no car so that I can just go visit whenever I want. Plus, she is with her sister a lot at the hospice. I know she needs to be there. She is with my sister going to doctors appointments. It just seems that she is never at home. She cant drive anymore. She told me she put away her sewing machine. I guess it’s hard to look at it, knowing how much she loves to sew.

Its interesting how when tragedy hits, we have to give up on certain things in our lives. For me it was my harley. For dad it was the motorhome and now for mom it is her love of sewing. We all have to give up on things as life hits us. I’m sure there are many people who understand this feeling.

There you have it. LIFE. It’s always changing. Today, I wish I could be on a white sandy beach, sipping a fruity drink with my mom in the chair beside me, enjoying her fruity drink. These are the dreams we hope for. If only they could come true.

Since Dad died 2 years ago, I dont think she has really had a break. With remodeling her condo and moving, then her sister having cancer. She really hasnt taken time to just sit and catch her breath. Now she has no choice. I totally understand how it feels to have to just stop. When I hurt my neck, it was the same for me. I had to stop, and watch the world move on without me. It’s a terrible feeling to know that your life has suddenly changed.

She will adjust, as we all do. Hopefully the doctors can help her in some way. With time, she will learn how to live with her poor eye sight.

What else has be going on? Well, Gregg is still working, but not sure for how long. Might only be another month and then back to job hunting. He is hoping that the company will hire him on full time. That would be great. To finally have all those years of schooling paying off.

We pout the cats on a diet..lol. Well, Duncan was going in and eating the cat food. So now we feed them twice a day. They seem to be fine with that. They might even loose a few pounds. Baby REALLY needs to loose about 10lbs. He is huge! Bunny has a tiny muffin top…hehe

Well, thats about all I got for today.

Anyways, Matthew showed up walked through the door and behind him he has his little brother Colby. What a great surprise! The sneaky guys had planned this 2 weeks ago. Since Colby lives almost 5 hours away I dont get to see him often. Since he graduated school he has been busy with work and trying to get his truck running and just having a busy life.The last time i saw him was at my dad’s funeral in June of 2008.

He spent Sunday with Matthew and yesterday he was with me. Matthew dropped him off in the morning and we decided to surprise my Mom. I called her and told her a white lie, that Gregg needed to go to an appointment close to her place and that we wanted to come over for lunch first and we requested homemade pancakes. This was a bit tricky since Gregg and I are on a low carb diet and pancakes are not on our menu. She did ask if it was ok and I just said we were having a craving.

When we got to her door, I walked in and then Gregg and she was starting to close the door when Colby popped his head in. She shouted with joy and gave him a huge hug. She was very surprised and happy to see him. We had a great lunch, Colby got his fill of Oma’s pancakes. We even talked about taking some and driving by Matthew’s work and teasing him that he didnt get any and eat them in front of him….lol

Then it was time to go. We said goodbye to Mom and hit the road. We took Colby shopping, he needed some new runners and some clothes. Talk about a big foot, 13 wide!  As you can see by the photo, he is a big boy.(just like his dad)

He also got a hair cut. That’s when I finally recognized him again…lol

Thanks to Matthew for making the trip to bring Colby for a visit. So happy that I got to see Colby again. Even though it was only a short visit it was still great to see him.

Wow! where did this year go?? I cant believe that 2009 is almost over. This year has been …ok. I feel that I have changed yet again. My way of thinking is again different. I am a year older and yet I do not feel older. I do think older, if that make sense. I realize that I just dont worry about the piddly stuff as I use to. I would worry about when I would see my boys again and what they are up to and if they are safe. Now I call them and chat with them and see how things are going with work and life in general. I see them when they have time to visit. Colby hasnt been here since my dad died and I hope that he will be here for Christmas this year. If not, I will miss him but I wont spend my time worrying about it. I know I will see Matthew some time over the holidays. I use to worry about them so much when they were young. Now I feel that they are old enough to handle things on their own.

After Dad died I worried a lot about Mom. I know she is doing fine. Yes she is alone, but she is ok. The family is there for her and she keeps very busy with her sisters. It’s more that they keep her busy…lol.

Gregg has been home now for 2 months. No jobs are coming to him, but I am not going to worry about it. He will figure it out. Its pointless for me to worry since I cant really do anything to help him. Maybe in the new year there will be a job.

Yes, this year has had its ups and downs. We keep moving ahead. Hoping that one day there will be no need to struggle. It would be nice to have enough money to pay for everything and not worry about things. Some day it will happen.

Anyways, I have babbled enough….lol  Its almost Christmas time! I have done no shopping and I still have to plan the dinner for my family on the 27th. I sure hope it all works out as I hope.

Now, the problem is, the 26th or the 27th? We switch between the 25th and the 26th so that the other families get to see everyone too. This year it just happens that the 26th and 27th land on the weekend. I know that some family cant make it on the 26th so either day works for me.

As for the dinner, it will be a traditional meal. Turkey(not chopped up) with all the trimmings. I will have to send out an email as to what each person can bring. I’m sure there will be lots of leftovers.

Now, there is also the BIG family dinner we do each year where we rent the kitchen and gym from my mom’s church. I am letting you know now that my family isnt going this year. I’m tired of it. I want to change the dinner to a summer picnic. Every year its the same thing. I say I dont want to go right up till the last minute I walk out the door to head to the church. I have to force myself to go. Once I am there,, its not so bad, but its pointless. We are there to mingle with family that we dont see through out the year, but we dont do that. We sit at the tables with our families and say a quick hello, how are you to all the others. It mainly ends up being our 33 family members and about 15 others. The church rental is $185 this year. Why pay for that when we can get together at someones house?

Yes its nice to do family stuff with relatives, but I do see this as a waste of time. So, I am done with it. I do give a big thank you to my sister for making it happen for the last 20 years. Time for a change!

So what am I doing on my special day? Gregg and I are going to have our morning coffee as usual, and then get ready to go over to Mom’s. Pick her up and head to the border. We are going to stop off at Wal-mart and meet up with Mom’s sister Susi for a coffee. After wards we will get back on the road and drive down to Bellis Fair Mall where I will be buying my present. I have been needing new runners and I have decided that I want the Skechers Shape-ups. I hope they help with my back pain and my sore heels when I walk. I sure want to be able to go out walking and not have to stop after 15 minutes from the pain. Its so frustrating to try and get in shape and not have good shoes.

I also need jeans. Since I finally am at my goal weight I need some jeans that I dont have to keep pulling up or have to wear a belt. Plus I dont want stretchy jeans. I cant find any that are normal jeans around here unless they are flared, low riders and cost way too much and I dont do the skinny jean, I just dont like them. I like a boot cut or straight leg and long. At least a 34 inseam. Most are 32 and that is too short for me. But why do jeans have to have lycra in them? I want regular old school jeans…lol

Well maybe I’ll find them at the Mall. After the shopping is done we are going to take mom for some real Mexican food. Gregg and I have both been craving Tacos el Pastor. I want Mom to try them too. I think she will enjoy them.

Well, going to go start dinner. Its House and heroes tonight.

I know it can’t be easy living with his Dad. But let’s not start talking about that. It’s old and I’m tired of thinking about all that crap.

He sure does have my cheeks and my fat bottom lip…lol

Happy Birthday Colbster!

I love you!

So, Last week I took on a project that I thought would be easy. Well, it was easy but very time consuming. I was going through my google reader and checking on some of the craft bloggers I read daily, and I saw something that I thought would make a great party favor for all the women that came to the birthday lunch we had planned.

I was on the Coterie Blog and saw this post and loved the idea. So I made a list of all I would need and headed out to get the supplies. Instead of Banana bread I did cake mixes. My list was simple.

• 35 4 inch pots
• 8 cake mixes
• ribbons
• sparkly things

Sounds easy right? Not so! I had to find the pots. Gregg came with me and we went to Wal-Mart and found 16 there. Then it was over to Home Depot, they had none. Then we drove to Rona and got all we needed. After that it was off to the Dollar store for ribbons and decorations. And finally to Save-on Foods to get the cake mixes and eggs and oil and powdered sugar.

I started with washing all the pots. I ran them through the dishwasher. The next morning I decided that I would white-wash them all. I found some white paint and watered it down and gave them all one coat. They dried and got another coat. That took up most of the day. At about 3pm I started with the decorations. I finished 27 pots by 7pm.

The next day I started with the baking. I did a test run to see how many pots I would need per cake mix. 4 pots worked well. The baking went pretty good. I only messed up on one pot. Each set of 4 pots baked at 350 c for 35 minutes. Then I pulled them out and put in the next 4pots. While those were baking I removed the cakes out of the pots and let them cool. I washed the 4 pots and started over.

I then took the cooled cakes and put them into the decorated pots and labels them on the bottom so I knew what flavor it was. I kept rotating between the 2 batches of 4 pots I was using to bake with. All together it took me 6 hours to finish all the baking.

I took a break, had some dinner and a shower. I then started on the icing. That took another 2 hours to do. Then I realized I still needed to get a layered salad ready for the party. I thought my night would never end!

I finally finished them all. 32 pots decorated and ready to go. In the end it was all worth it. Everyone loved their potted cakes.

There was a ton of yummy foods to eat. My sister made 2 different fruit punches. We ordered a birthday cake from my Niece’s friend that makes special cakes. We got her to put a big ring on top with all of us 5 kid’s birth stones. Mom didn’t really see the cake until we pointed it out after she has opened the box with the gold family ring we got her as her present. She was so happy I thought she might even cry.

At about 3pm almost all the ladies had left. Then the family started to show up for the BBQ. We all relaxed and a good time as a family. We all laughed and enjoyed the rest of Mom’s day.

Today is her actual birthday. So I called her to wish her a happy day. She is having some friends over for coffee and to eat some more of that yummy cake.

I think having Bree in your life has made a big difference. Seems she is what is making you happy(and making you shower daily). I had to jab jab. I hope that what ever happens in your life, that you are always happy with your choices and that you keep on smiling.

I know you are off camping today so I can’t see you, but I will see you when you get home. I love you so much Matthew… there are never enough words or hugs or tears that I can give you to let you know how much you mean to me. You will always be my baby goober.

Gregg got me all of the latest Adobe software. Very cool stuff. So as I am making this video I am also teaching myself all the new cool things I can do with it. Once I get more practice it will get easier.

In the mean time, My sister and I both had the same idea, and Gregg did too. Since my sister is so involved with the church and has a million friends, I will be setting up a small business to see if  making videos for all occasions might be a great way to earn some extra income.

I’ll be making up a few business cards and hopefully a website too. I need to come up with a name. So if you have any ideas please post them in the comment area.

So its a bit of a busy week.

Image by ___federico___ via Flickr

I finally talked to Colby. He has just been too busy to call. When I asked what he was doing, he said “not much”. LOL, ok so he hasn’t been too busy. He just never remembers to call me. Typical for a growing Boy. He wants to come down for a visit, but doesn’t want to miss out any work. He will try to come down for a weekend next month and I told him he has to come down for his Oma’s 75th Birthday in May.

What else? Oh, as you know Gregg and I went to Matt & Bree’s for dinner on Sunday. We had a very nice time. dinner was good and I brought over some leftover Christmas baking that I had in the freezer for dessert. Their place may be small, but they have it organized well. I guess its our turn to have them here for dinner soon.

As for me, I have spent all yesterday afternoon and still now in a bad IC flare-up. I had a a rough night with all the pain. Even been doubling my meds. I’m not sure why it has started up. I think it might be either the ice tea I have been drinking too much of, or the new lotion I have been using, or just the stress of wondering where and what Colby was doing. Well I don’t have to worry about Colby, he is fine.  I’m not drinking any more iced tea and the lotion was returned to the store yesterday. Now I just wait for the flare-up to stop. This could take hours or weeks.

On a happier note…. I have lost a total of 5lbs this month. Gregg has lost 8lbs. Slowly going down for both of us.

What else? Survivor started last week and so did Amazing Race. Both are shows that Gregg and I watch together. We like to pick apart the shows and say that we could do better…lol. I have other shows I watch while Gregg does his homework. Lost is back on too so I’ve been watching it. Waiting for Prison Break to start in April.

I did hear a rumor… Dippy might be moving soon. I can only hope and pray that it really is true and will happen before summer is here. Supposedly, he has been approved for a mortgage and is looking for a place in Chilliwack. If this is true, I hope that they sell the condo to some nice older people with no kids.

Oh,  Matthew and Bree have moved into their new condo and they have invited us for dinner this Sunday. This will be a first. I’ve offered to bring dessert, just have to figure out what to make. I’m looking at low calorie recipes today.

Well, that’s whats happening around here.

Its here….again. Some times I wish there was no Christmas. It would make things so much easier. Or maybe Gregg and I could just go rent a cabin in the snow. Hide away from all the every day stuff. Oh well, we can all dream!

I guess I’m a bit depressed today. Gregg has to work and I had thought we would be together tomorrow. He thinks he might have friday off, but he isnt 100% sure. So the dinner I had planned for us and his Dad(Glen) and Matthew is being canceled. I have decided to just make a nice small dinner for Gregg and I  tomorrow when he gets home from work. If  he does get friday off, then maybe we will hit some boxing day sales.

Glen says he will stop by on Christmas morning for a coffee and gift exchange. I’ll see Matthew in the afternoon since we are all going to my sister’s for the big family turkey dinner. Unless Matthew changes his mind and heads out with Bree. Doesnt really matter. He can do what he wants. He is after all an adult. Colby is up in Kamloops and isnt coming down. No idea when I will see him again.

We will go and eat all the yummy food at my sister’s and at the end of the evening we will waddle out with an extra 10 pounds in our bellies. We will all say our good byes to Mom as she is leaving the next day for California with my Brother and his wife. Gone to the land of sunshine for 6 weeks. Wish I could go too.

This is also our first Christmas without Dad. Plus it would have been his 82nd birthday on Christmas day.

I can hardly wait for Christmas to move on again. Bring on the new year and the spring and summer, but then fall and winter show up again…ah damn! I guess its a vicious circle. Maybe we will go on a trip next year?  Do I hear Mexico calling? Maybe gifts giving is going to stop? Save our money for the trip? Hmmm…. I suppose we will have to see what happens over the next year.

I realized that today is Gregg’s Mom’s Birthday. She isn’t here to celebrate this day anymore. She died many years ago in a terrible car accident. It’s sad, I know, but we go on. Anyways, the last couple days Gregg has mentioned how at Christmas time his mom would bake cookies. So I am on the hunt for her recipes. I know they are in the storage room in a box. I just have to find the right box…lol

He says that his Mom made the best Bird’s nest cookies ever, along with a few others. So I want to start making these for Gregg so that he can have some and remember the good times of Christmas. Just like I remember all the good times I had as a kid. I think the one thing that always makes Christmas better is all the smells of baked goodies and the turkey cooking. Christmas music playing in the back ground and people laughing and enjoy themselves.

Well, I will go hunt these recipes down, then share them with you all.

We don’t have many plans. We have the dinner at Mom’s on the 20th to celebrate living in Canada for 40 years. Then on the 21st we are all invited to go to my brother and his wife’s baptism in Vancouver. Which we will be attending as long as I feel good and there is no snow. Then we have Christmas dinner at my Sister’s house on the 25th.

So really this year is a slow one. Usually half the family gets together on Christmas eve to go out for dinner and then go to church. I think this year might be the start of something new for Gregg and I. We really dont have any “traditions” of our own. Since we don’t have kids together and my boys are older and want to do their own thing. Gregg and I have talked about possibly doing something just for us. Sure anyone can come and join us. What is it that we want to do? Go see a Christmas movie.

LOL… yup I know it sounds weird. Seriously, I thought it was too. But have you noticed that there are new Christmas movies that come out on the the 24th and 25th? So why not go see one? If we aren’t snowed in and have nothing else to do then we might as well go have a good time.

Anyways, I crawled out of bed this morning to see if you all missed me. No, really! I know I miss all of you. I hate being away from my computer. The internet is kind of my life line to the world. I’m at home all the time since I don’t work and we only have one car. I don’t mind it. I like my home. I have gone as long as a month without ever leaving the condo. I really have no problem staying in my cozy home.

So, we had our yearly Christmas family dinner this past Sunday. It all went well. 39 people showed up. It would of been more but a few just couldn’t make it. It was really nice to see the family. There were some that were new this year and some that I hadn’t see in a long time. The food was yummy as always. I even tried out a new recipe and made the family my guinea pigs…hehehe

Mom and my cousin did well and held their heads up and spread the Christmas spirit through the family. I could see it wasn’t easy on them both without their husbands by their sides. It was still a happy time. We laughed and enjoyed the day. Even though I was sick and doped up on cold pills.

We got home just before 8pm and I climbed into bed for the night. I was done. Yesterday I was in bed all day. So today I am up, but not feeling much better. I think I will be heading to bed soon. If you don’t hear from me in a few days then I am probably still in bed sick. I’ll blog when I am feeling better.