matthew

Happy Birthday My Boy!

Well its here again! You have turned 24 years old. Wow! You are growing old..lol No, you still have many years ahead of you. These last few years that you have lived closer to me, I’ve watched to change. From a grumpy guss to a happy cleaned up man.

I think having Bree in your life has made a big difference. Seems she is what is making you happy(and making you shower daily). I had to jab jab. I hope that what ever happens in your life, that you are always happy with your choices and that you keep on smiling.

I know you are off camping today so I can’t see you, but I will see you when you get home. I love you so much Matthew… there are never enough words or hugs or tears that I can give you to let you know how much you mean to me. You will always be my baby goober.

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Finally!

phone

Image by ___federico___ via Flickr

I finally talked to Colby. He has just been too busy to call. When I asked what he was doing, he said “not much”. LOL, ok so he hasn’t been too busy. He just never remembers to call me. Typical for a growing Boy. He wants to come down for a visit, but doesn’t want to miss out any work. He will try to come down for a weekend next month and I told him he has to come down for his Oma’s 75th Birthday in May.

What else? Oh, as you know Gregg and I went to Matt & Bree’s for dinner on Sunday. We had a very nice time. dinner was good and I brought over some leftover Christmas baking that I had in the freezer for dessert. Their place may be small, but they have it organized well. I guess its our turn to have them here for dinner soon.

As for me, I have spent all yesterday afternoon and still now in a bad IC flare-up. I had a a rough night with all the pain. Even been doubling my meds. I’m not sure why it has started up. I think it might be either the ice tea I have been drinking too much of, or the new lotion I have been using, or just the stress of wondering where and what Colby was doing. Well I don’t have to worry about Colby, he is fine.  I’m not drinking any more iced tea and the lotion was returned to the store yesterday. Now I just wait for the flare-up to stop. This could take hours or weeks.

On a happier note…. I have lost a total of 5lbs this month. Gregg has lost 8lbs. Slowly going down for both of us. 🙂

Slow Pace

This week is a bit slow. I’ve been home doing my workouts and house work and crap like that. So nothing new. Making sure Gregg and I stick to our diet plan. I’m slowly losing weight and Gregg is too. It’s better to take it off slowly anyways. Too fast and it will just come back twice as much. I have noticed a difference in my waist since I started doing yoga. Its getting a bit tighter. Which makes me happy. I really like my Wii Fit. It’s really easy to use and I like that it keeps track for me. I think Mom should get one. I bet she would love it.

What else? Survivor started last week and so did Amazing Race. Both are shows that Gregg and I watch together. We like to pick apart the shows and say that we could do better…lol. I have other shows I watch while Gregg does his homework. Lost is back on too so I’ve been watching it. Waiting for Prison Break to start in April.

I did hear a rumor… Dippy might be moving soon. I can only hope and pray that it really is true and will happen before summer is here. Supposedly, he has been approved for a mortgage and is looking for a place in Chilliwack. If this is true, I hope that they sell the condo to some nice older people with no kids.

Oh,  Matthew and Bree have moved into their new condo and they have invited us for dinner this Sunday. This will be a first. I’ve offered to bring dessert, just have to figure out what to make. I’m looking at low calorie recipes today.

Well, that’s whats happening around here.

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Been Reading

I’ve kind of been into my books this week. I got a few novels from the library and have been cuddled up under a blanket on the sofa reading. I guess I needed a break from my computer. I’ve also been in a bit more pain lately. I’m back on my Tramacet for my lower back and tail bone. Its been very painful to sit for longer than 45mins at a time. Even getting enough sleep has been difficult. Laying down flat is impossible.These pills are helping, I just don’t want to depend on them.

So in the mean time, I have been reading to keep my mind busy. Doing stuff around the condo. Playing on my Wii. I’m not able to to the Wii Fit since the back pain, but I will start again soon. Gregg and I are both back on the diet. I have lost 2 lbs this week so I’m happy about that. He has joined at work, the Biggest loser program. I’m hoping that it will help him keep motivated. Soon as the weather is better and warmer we can start riding our bikes again.

On other news, Mom is having a great time in California. Says the sunshine is nice and toasty. I sure hope she brings the sunshine back with her. We need some! What else is going on? oh! I talked with Matthew and he has decided to stay in town at his job and is working things out with his girlfriend. I was so happy to hear this news. I really hope that things work out for them. I think she is good for him 🙂

As for Colby, haven’t heard from him in 2 weeks. He did tell me that he had to put his dog to sleep cause he was very sick. I’m sure it was hard to do. He was my dog and when I had to move out I left him there for Colby. They were best buddies. I guess we all have to deal with live and death through out our lives. Its just hard when the decision is put on your shoulder to decide your best friends fate.

Well, the day goes on….

Happy Birthday Matt!

Once again its birthday time. Hard to believe that you are 23. I sure hope you have a great day doing what ever it is you are doing. Just remember to drink lots of water before you go to bed! It will help with the hangover. LOL

Love you!

Rats! he says!

Yup! Rats! Matthew has decided to have pet rats. LOL I guess if he really wants them, he can have them. Matt stopped by to pick up my old fish tank. Amazingly enough, I got to FINALLY meet his girlfriend. Yes, shocking I know. He has been with her since October. Thats 6 months. Don’t know why it took so long. So, I gave him the tank and he was all happy and excited to get going to get the rats.  He has had them in the past and he likes them. Plus it gives him some responsibilities. It also gives him more bills. But thats not my worry, I don’t control his money.

I took the day off from my PC yesterday. Sometimes you just need to step away. It was nice to relax and read my book. I’ve also started exercising this week. Gregg and I are back on our diet plan. I haven’t be able to get rid of the last 10 lbs and Gregg has gained. So its time to get back to it! Just this time I am going to exercise a lot more. I’ve been thinking that I would like to go check out the local pools. I used to love to go swimming, but after I got bigger I stop going. Now I feel that I can go do it again. Plus I don’t have the big boobs to get in the way! LOL And people won’t be starring at me, well, at least not as much. People will still be starring because of my tattoos. That I can handle.

I want to start using our bikes to0. We never used them at all last year. I need to get my legs stronger before I can even think of going for a ride. My knees groan when I climb any stairs. I think I will rest my achy muscles today or maybe go for a walk.

enjoy your day!

Done!

My shopping is done. If I forgot anything, its just too bad. I dont want to be in the Malls this weekend. It will be nuts!  Gregg can get the food and turkey for us. I plan on doing nothing more. Well, maybe buy a bottle of Bailey’s. I can hardly wait for it to all be over. Christmas isnt like it used to be.  Its always magical for the young ones, but we get older and its just a very busy time. We decorate the house and the tree, then do the big dinner. Do all the shopping and wrap all the gifts. Clean the house and make sure everything is in order. Check the list we’ve made to make sure we didnt forget anything. At the last minute we have to run out for a gift or a food item. After its all done we have to clean it all up. We do this every christmas.

Why? Why make it so busy every year? Well I have made up my mine that I’m not doing it anymore. Oh I’ll do the tree thing, but otherwise I wont waste my time and stress out about what to but everyone. I’m just going to give gift cards. Yes its impersonal, but do people really care? This way they can go buy what they want. Be it a sweater or shoes or some dishes or even a carton of smokes. Enjoy! Christmas isnt about the gifts any way.

Christmas is supposed to be about family, getting together and making memories. Even that isnt important anymore. Every year my family gets together for christmas dinner. This year we are at my brother’s house. We are having lasagna instead of turkey. That’s fine, we arent there for the food, and  who made the rule that it has to be a turkey? Its just one less turkey that died for a dinner. We will play the gift giving game again. Everybody will be happy and laughing. Enjoying all the fun with their kids and grandkids. I get to sit there and pretend to have fun and act like it doesnt bother me that my boys arent there. Some people dont realize how lucky they really are.

Maybe I’m being to harsh? Maybe its cause I’m tired of the same thing every year. Maybe I would like a real family christmas of my own. See now I have to say sorry. I’m sure that some of my family will read this and think “we have christmas together” and yes we do but its different for me. You all have your families over and you get to exchange gifts and even have a nice dinner. I dont. If I’m lucky I might see Matthew for an hour just so he can come get his gifts. Colby, well who knows when he will be here again. His gifts are already in my closet put away so that I dont have to be reminded of him. Sounds bad but its the only way I can get through this next week. He will get them in the new year some time. Gregg’s family gets together in Calgary with his grandmother. We would go but I want to stay home just by the slightest chance that Colby might be here. We might see his sister if she decides to hop a plane from Edmonton, but I doubt it. Glen will be here on Christmas day for a bit. Maybe for dinner, maybe not. He finds things to do.

I’m fortunate to have Gregg. He tries to make christmas day fun for us. I’m basically his whole family at the holiday season. I feel bad that I get depressed on the holidays. Every year I try to have a positive attitude, but every year I feel let down. I try not to get my hopes up wishing for the “family” christmas to happen. I guess I am being selfish. I shouldnt complain. Hopefully next year will be different. I hope that we can go away. Maybe to Calgary? I would prefer Mexico.

I know this post is a downer. I guess I’m just feeling sorry for myself. I just dont think its fair that I have to suffer every year. Why cant it be somebody else? I guess I’m still upset bout Colby not being here. I tried so hard this year not to get excited about him coming for christmas, but I did any way. Oh I hate it! I hate it so much! I wanted to take him into Vancouver  so he could see the city at this time of year. He was excited about it. We even talked about doing the christmas train in Stanley Park….even tho he is too big for it.

Now I am trying to be cheery, but its not easy. I guess I should be thankful that I can at least get a phone call on Christmas day. Even that is sometimes too much to ask for.

10 Years

The other day I was talking with Mom and she said that this would the first time in 10 years that the whole family would be together for Christmas Dinner. She was excited about it, I could hear it in her voice. Yes it would be the first time that all the grandkids actually would be able to make it, even my boys. It would also be the first Christmas that I would have Colby and Matthew here for the holidays, for christmas eve and the next day. Fantastic!

Well it would of been Fantastic. Its a good thing I didn’t get my hopes up this year. I knew it was too good to be true. Colby called me this morning and said that he can’t make it…again. He was pretty upset about it. He said that his dad(Bob) and stepmom(Kim) split up and she walked out last night. So now Colby doesn’t want to leave his dad by himself. I can understand that. Knowing Bob as well as I do, there might not be a home to come back to if Colby came here. Bob would get drunk and trash the place and while he is trashing the house he ends up having a heart attack. So Colby needs to be there to make sure his dad doesn’t do anything crazy.

I’m starting to think that I should invite Bob for christmas, cause that might be the only way I will ever see Colby. Oh well, its just another day. I will be here with Gregg and we will eat our turkey and all the trimmings and even share some with Baby and Bunny. As for Matthew, I guess he can go with his girlfriend to see her family. No need for him to stay now. He wasn’t too happy when I told him he had to be here anyway.

10 years….can you imagine it? 10 years without seeing your kids open their presents on Christmas morning. To watch the surprised look on their faces. To see them jump in the air with such happiness. I guess I should just be thankful that I at least have some memories from their childhood. Maybe when they are older and get married and have kids I will be able to watch my grandchildren open gifts and watch their little faces of happiness glowing brightly on Christmas morning.