Category Archives: ME

Making More Changes

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Last week for the friday pic share I put up wallpapers instead of my own pics. Well I’m thinking of doing more. I have a HUGE collection of wallpapers and I thought it would be nice to share them. So on Friday I will start doing this. I want to know if this is something that all my followers would like? Or do you want pics that I have taken? if you want wallpapers, are there any requests for something you would like to see?

Other changes…. As you know I made a choice a couple months ago to take a break from drinking. So far I’m doing great. We did go for lunch  with Gregg’s family last saturday and I had 2 beers. No big deal. See, I can control it when I want too. Anyways, I have been doing fine on that part. The other part is – letting go of my past. This isnt so easy.

I am able to shove my memories into the corner, but then someone crawls out from under a rock and says “hey!” and the past is right there in front of me again. It does get a bit frustrating at times. I mean really, do I want to remember all that shit!?! NO.

As of today, anyone or any bad memories that were in my life before I married Gregg, no longer are a part of my life. I was a virgin bride…lol. Yes I know I have 2 kids, but they are grown up now and I can pretend that Gregg and I adopted them…hehehe

So if you notice that I have removed you from my facebook or my msn, now you know why. You were in my past. I’m sorry if it hurts you but I NEED to be free. I can’t have these memories in my life anymore. I get sad, angry, stressed and I feel like drowning my pain in booze. Plus I take it out on Gregg and he really doesn’t need to hear it.

So that is that! Good-bye past!

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Crap! Stupid IC!

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Ever since my IC flared up 3 weeks ago I can’t seem to get control of it. It went away for a couple days but then it was back and its been off and on. I feel ok when I get out of bed but by mid afternoon it seems to start up. I honestly don’t know what it is that is making me hurt?

I’m careful with my food and drinks. I’m not using any makeup or lotions. The only thing I can think of that I have changed is my body wash. I switched to Dove instead of Ivory cause it was on sale. Maybe that is what the problem is? I’ll put it aside for a few days and see if that helps.

This is so frustrating! I can’t do my yoga or do anything that will cause my back to get sore. As soon as my back hurts, my IC gets bad. All I can do right now is lay around. Even sitting in this chair for too long will make my body scream. I really wish there was a cure for IC. I hate it!

OK…let’s relax…calm down. Stress is the killer. No stress. I’m going to get over this. I’m lucky, my pain can be controlled. I just need to figure out what is causing it. So it’s either the Dove body wash or ? Or what? Food? Hmmm…

I think it’s time to go back on my allergy diet. It made a big difference the last time I did it. I had gone 6 months with no pain. I guess I’ll start it again. Not easy to do, but worth it.

Well, thanks for letting me vent….lol

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Finally!

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phone

Image by ___federico___ via Flickr

I finally talked to Colby. He has just been too busy to call. When I asked what he was doing, he said “not much”. LOL, ok so he hasn’t been too busy. He just never remembers to call me. Typical for a growing Boy. He wants to come down for a visit, but doesn’t want to miss out any work. He will try to come down for a weekend next month and I told him he has to come down for his Oma’s 75th Birthday in May.

What else? Oh, as you know Gregg and I went to Matt & Bree’s for dinner on Sunday. We had a very nice time. dinner was good and I brought over some leftover Christmas baking that I had in the freezer for dessert. Their place may be small, but they have it organized well. I guess its our turn to have them here for dinner soon.

As for me, I have spent all yesterday afternoon and still now in a bad IC flare-up. I had a a rough night with all the pain. Even been doubling my meds. I’m not sure why it has started up. I think it might be either the ice tea I have been drinking too much of, or the new lotion I have been using, or just the stress of wondering where and what Colby was doing. Well I don’t have to worry about Colby, he is fine.  I’m not drinking any more iced tea and the lotion was returned to the store yesterday. Now I just wait for the flare-up to stop. This could take hours or weeks.

On a happier note…. I have lost a total of 5lbs this month. Gregg has lost 8lbs. Slowly going down for both of us. :)

Happy Thoughts

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Well yesterday was Valentine’s Day. Gregg and I didn’t do much. Since money is tight we had a nice dinner at home instead of wasting 100.00 at a restaurant. I made arrachera for our dinner, Gregg grilled it. It turned out pretty good, but it was a bit chewy. I think that I will have to beat the crap out of it the next time. The spices tasted good. We added a salad and a baguette.

Before our dinner I had to go see my dentist yet again. I am having problems with one tooth out of the 4 that I had veneers done on. Its amazing how much you really use your front teeth. Even when you are chewing with your molars you still use your front ones. Anyways, I have to get a root canal done. I’ll be going in on March 16th. I will be doing oral sedation again. Why? Well, I need to have a small filling replaced and I need a cleaning. Since I have such a low tolerance for any kind of pain in my mouth its better for me to be doped up. Plus I have the T.M.J. problems and I can’t keep my mouth open for 3 hours. I really don’t want to bite my dentist.

At least the root canal and cleaning are covered by medical. I will have to pay for the sedation which costs about 325.00. Its not that much when you think about it. I’m getting everything done in one sitting instead of having to come back for more visits. After this is all done I will just have to get my night guard made and then do a cleaning once a year. The night guard might have to wait. Medical won’t cover it and I think the whole cost will be close to 500.00. After all that with the dentist, my IC started up. That little bit of stress, thinking about the money and the dental work and what all I will have to do, actually stressed me enough to put me in pain.

So until then its all about the happy thoughts. Happy that I will be free of this tooth pain soon. Happy that is won’t cost too much. What else? Happy that I am feeling better today. The IC is better , but not gone. I had to take my pills yesterday and this morning too. I’m happy its sunny outside. Even though it’s cold. I’m happy I have a comfy bed to go climb into when I am done with this post.

And now I am done!

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