Happy Father’s Day.
I wasn’t too sure about doing this post. Then I thought about it and decided I needed to do it.
It’s been a year since my Dad died. It went by fast. It feels like it still just happened. I’m finally at a point where I can say his name without crying or having to leave the room. Ok, not true, I want to cry now. I miss him so much. I realize that I can’t spend Father’s Day with him anymore, but I can think of all the times we spent together.
My first thoughts of him today, when I was young, camping in Penticton. Just Dad and me pigging out on watermelon in the late afternoon, spitting seeds everywhere. Those are very happy memories. Summer vacations were always fun. I miss them.
This past year hasn’t been that easy. Not for any of the family. We all have struggled to move on without him. It’s not easy to get together as a family, especially when we gather at Mom’s place. We sit around the big family dinning table and it always feels like he is missing. He always sat at the head of the table. It now seems that my Brother-in-law has taken the chair. He is the oldest. He has the right to be there. Mom is at the other end, but sometimes she still sits at the side. I guess old habits are hard to break.
My brothers have their moments and I can see that they are still hurting. It will take time. My sister troops along with a smile on her face. I know she is hurting too. She was very close to Dad and being the oldest, she knew Dad the best.
Mom puts up a good front, but we all know that she is still crying. I try not to leave her alone on Sundays. It was always the day her and Dad would spent together. They would call some friends over or go visit someone. They made sure that Sunday’s were to be enjoyed. No working of any kind. So, I call her every Sunday. Sometimes more than once. I’ll call after lunch when I know she will be back from church. They I might call her later to let her know if there is something good on TV.
As for me, well, I am doing pretty good. Yes there are days that I just feel sad and want to cry cause I miss Dad so much. I wish I would of had more time with him. I’m thankful for the time I did have.
This past Christmas was hard, since it’s also his birthday. We got through it. This is our first Father’s Day without him and we will get through this day too.
I’ve decided that I will remember Dad on this day, but I will not spend the day being sad. I still have Gregg’s Dad. Glen is a great guy. We will be spending the rest of all the Father’s days with him. When he is gone, this “holiday” will be over and never thought about again. Just as it will happen with Mother’s day when Mom is gone.
So here is to all the Father’s out there. Enjoy it!
I will be visiting Dad later this afternoon.
“I’ll be dropping off a slice of watermelon for you, Dad”.
Oh, “and Dad…The sun still brings me your love”.