Self-Medicated

I have been wanting blog, but I just havent had anything to say. I’ve been doing nothing really. Just hanging out with Gregg on his days off and during the week I just do my own thing. I dont have a car so I dont go anywhere unless I’m walking. I havent been walking a lot. I basically just do stuff at home. Whatever I find to do.

I guess if I had more friends I would go out more. I have a few friends, but their lives are different than mine. Some are very busy with little kids, which I dont have. Others are busy with jobs or just running around doing stuff for others. I’m not complaining. I am fine with that. I talk to them and thats good enough. I dont feel the need to have close friends, and the friends I do have are great.

I guess I like my privacy. I like my alone time. Mom says I need more friends and she may be right. For now I dont feel like I do. Most of my friends that I have had through out my life have ended up screwing me over in some way. So I dont let myself get close to anyone. Gregg is the only one that really knows me well. I dont like to share things about me. I guess that is cause too many times people have used what I have said against me. I dont trust people easily. It took a bit of time before I trusted Gregg. I am very glad that I know I can trust him.

I dont need friends that judge me for I did in my life. Those type of people are not worth my time. I think that if you judge a person just because of the clothes they wears or the mistakes they have made in the past then you are a person that I dont need to get to know. I dont judge you, so dont judge me.

Wow, look at that. I had nothing to say and I said all this. Interesting what comes out of my head when I just start to type. I hope that friends and family understand that this isnt directed at any of you. I was just airing out some thoughts.

Well we did the viewing this evening. It went pretty well. Quite a few people showed up. I walked into the room and I guess I didnt think the room was so small. Dad was right there. It kind of surprised me. He looked so handsome in his suit. Tomorrow there will be another viewing just before the service. I dont knowif I can do it again.

Anyways, I’m off to bed now. I need some sleep. I’ll blog again when this is all done.

I’m having a slow week. Not much going on. Just taking it easy. My right knee has been hurting again and so is my lower back. So I’m laying around reading my books. I know that on friday we are doing a ladies lunch over at my niece’s new house. So that should be fun. Talked to mom and she said dad is about the same. Slowly getting worse but has his good moments. She had a hospital bed delivered over the weekend. Plus she has help coming in every day now. Mom has a “dad-sitter” coming in on friday so that she can come with to the lunch party.

I talked to Colby the other day and he might pop by on saturday to see my parents and to show off his new truck. Also its Matthew’s birthday tomorrow. I’m feeling old. He is turning 23. Time sure flies.

Yesterday was a hard day for me. It finally sunk in that my dad is going to die. I guess up till now I was not willing to believe it. I knew it was happening, but I just didn’t think it was happening right now. Well I cried most of yesterday and I think I got most of the tears out of the way so that I can be strong and ready when mom needs the help. I know that the family is going to have a long road ahead. We all deal with loss in different ways. I tend to push it to the side and deal with it after all is said and done. It wont be easy.

Anyways, lets get on a happier note. Its going to be a sunny day! Already 15c out there and suppose to rise to 26! When was the last May long weekend that we had beautiful weather? I dont even remember. Lets hope it stays nice. I think I will replant my 2 plants this afternoon.Yes I only have 2. I only have a bit of sunshine in the condo so lots of real plants wont survive in here. We face east so its only morning sun. Which is fine with me, otherwise it would get too hot in here.

Any plans for the weekend? I dont think we are doing much. Maybe go biking. Go see mom and dad. Was thinking of getting some Chinese take out for dinner and taking it over to the parents tomorrow for dinner. I know dad likes it even if he says he doesnt…lol.