Self-Medicated

I havent really been blogging much about anything lately. I guess my mind has been elsewhere. With Dad so sick, he is on my mind every day. Mom too. She is looking so tired. Also Gregg grandmother is at a point that we never know when we will get the call that she is gone. Gregg wants to go visit her one more time in July, but I dont want to leave here while my dad is sick. So its a bit of a hard decision to make. He wants to go at the same time as the Calgary Stampede, which will also cost money. Just the drive alone with cost more than we want to spend.

So I have been trying to catch up on all the blogs I read, but I just cant seem to get into them. I have over 300 blogs in my Google Reader. I dont read them all everyday. I would never have time for anything else if I did that. Plus some blogger dont post everyday. I have some favorites that I read everyday. Like my family and friends. I have some Blogger friends down in Playa del Carmen that I keep track of just so I can feel  jealous that they live there and I live here(lol).

I have also been slacking at home. I cant seem to get my home in order. I try to clean and it just seems that it never gets done. I get one area cleaned up and I turn around and there is a mess in a different area. I am at a point where I just want to say “screw it! Why do I bother? Its not like it makes a difference”. I could take all day and clean up, but it wouldnt be clean enough. There are certain areas that I’m not “allowed” to clean, so to me the condo is never clean. Maybe I’m just over-reacting? Maybe I have a cleaning fetish? I dont think so. I’m not a neat freak. I dont need to have everything in its place all the time, I just want things clean.

I think I need to find something to keep me busy. Something other than the computer. I would go for walks but I hate to walk to nowhere. I need a destination. If I lived close to a beach I would walk that everyday. Just the beautiful scenery would be enough. But I dont. I live in Abbotsford. There are no beaches here.

I guess I’m just a bit depressed lately. Its most likely cause of all this grey weather we have been having. I know I have S.A.D.(seasonal affective disorder) and it makes everything worse. I just need some sunshine and I’ll start to feel better. Well I better get started once again on the cleaning. I wish I had my own genie that I could order to do all the work…LOL

I can never get enough of this picture. I actually feel homesick looking at it.